HOW TO PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER ...WHEN YOUR WORLD FALLS APART
Life is full of all kinds of trouble for everyone. "Everybody you meet is having a hard time." "Man is born for trouble as the sparks fly upward," says the Bible (Job 5:7). Troubles come in all sizes but frequently have a little realized but common origin.
WHERE DO MOST PAINFUL TROUBLES COME FROM?
Our troubles arise mostly from our desires and what we do about them.
Even the religions of India admit this. They suggest that we systematically reduce our desires until after a lifetime of self abrogation and after several future reincarnations we will have no desires: then we will enter Nirvana, a state of unity with the "Great Oversoul" in which man will have no personal desires - hence, ultimately no personal existence. What a cheerless outlook.
There are also three serious objections to this: (1) There is no evidence at all for reincarnation. It is simply wishful thinking. In any case, can you wait for future reincarnations to deliver you from today's trouble? (2) If man was not meant to have any desires, where did he get them in the first place? (3) All earthly progress is based upon human desires - without them there is no creativity, no enjoyment, no real sense of what is valuable in life. It is not desires as such which are troublesome but rather wrong desires and doing wrong things to achieve them.
Christianity teaches that human desires are natural and need only be surrendered to the will of God to become fruitful, fulfilling and the means to get, achieve and give all that is good. Christianity says that most trouble is caused by sin and defines sins as acts and attitudes which defy God, which are corruptive and corrosive of the mind, body and soul of man, and which are destructive to others. Sin is that which affronts God by substituting selfishness as the rule for living instead of His standards of value and behavior.
Chief among trouble-causing sins are pride, envy and covetousness. Since these very personal vices are the obvious source of so many of our problems, so it must be clear that most of our troubles are self-caused. The hymnist was correct who wrote about the sin of prayer-lessness,
Oh what peace we often forfeit,
Oh what needless pain we bear,
All because we do not carry
Everything to God in prayer!
Sin must be repented of. It will be forgiven. One's troubles will then in time depart or be greatly reduced.
WHAT ABOUT CATASTROPHIC TROUBLES?
The great tragedies or shattering experiences often come from the same sources as the lesser troubles of life. Usually the main difference is the size of the effect. Ordinary, though painful, troubles can be solved. But the great catastrophies are of such a nature, in terms of their consequences, that when they strike us our "world falls apart," and life is forced into utterly new, different or frightening directions.
THE COMMON DENOMINATOR IN MOST TRAGEDIES
These catastrophies almost always have one thing in common, which if understood, makes it possible to discover ways to recover or surmount the tragedy or loss. This one common denominator is that they always involve the major commitment of our life and its resulting relationships which are severed or forever changed. This is what distinguishes ordinary troubles from catastrophies.
For example, a mother makes a major commitment of life to her child. If the child dies, is taken from her, or in time rejects her, then that mother's major commitment is frustrated and her most meaningful relationship is broken.
A businessman makes a major life-commitment to his business. Everything he has is devoted to its demands. Other interests are subordinated. But the business itself may become a failure or go bankrupt. With his major commitment gone, the businessman loses his identity and finds himself distraught. His relationships in business to his work, his status with other people are ended. He is personally lost; he no longer has a sense of purpose in life nor a sense of individual worth. His "world has fallen apart."
A husband loses a wife, or a wife loses a husband. This loss involves one of the most important identity-granting and supportive life commitments we can make, Now the person is suddenly a widow or widower, or a divorcee. The relationship that means the most is suddenly gone - forever in this life. The result is, "the world then falls apart."
A person makes a career commitment which involves much education, training and long years of work. Suddenly he is fired, or the business fails and he is out, or he may be retired too early. His world has come apart.
Another person commits a crime and suffers public disgrace. Doors are shut to him which used to be open. Perhaps he goes to prison and there, at least, one "door" is opened which he does not want to be opened! Prison means mostly that the world is shut out and the prisoner is shut in. Life changes completely - old relationships are ended or strained until they are no longer the same. Life's major commitment, whatever it may have been, can no longer be followed. The future looks bleak. The prisoner's world falls apart.
A deadly illness limits another person's life span. Or a crippling disease or accident terminates his major commitment, and his relationships are ended or drastically changed. Life suddenly seems to be full of new and horrible fears, limitations or permanent frustrations. It is the unchangeable nature of catastrophe that makes it so frightening.
One lovely woman of the writer's acquaintance suffered an auto accident in which her face was horribly disfigured. Her husband forsook her. She could not stand for her friends to see her. She so hated her face that she could not even bear to look in the mirror. Her commitment as a wife and social leader was lost to her and all of her personal relationships were changed. She drifted from job to job, became an alcoholic and eventually died by her own hand in despair.
These are just a few examples of tragedies that can happen, and frequently do. Some catastrophies are worse than others but all have this one shattering factor - the whole world seems to fall apart and frequently the blow is so heavy that there seems to be no way out, no recovery, no possibility of rebuilding. All seems hopeless because so much that is valued is apparently lost. How we hate to consider that this sort of thing might happen to us! But the odds are that sooner or later it will, for none is exempt, and few escape.
What shall we do then when catastrophe hits us? What can be done ahead of time? Does anyone care? Can anyone help us? Can God undertake for us? Does even God care? Is there any real hope?
Perhaps these may seem unanswerable questions. Certainly they are the most painful and awful questions that can be asked by a person who has seen his world fall apart.
THERE IS A SOLUTION!
There is a victorious solution to be had here and now, even in the face of certain death. We do not here propose any "easy" or "magic" deliverances. But many people have suffered to the fall the great catastrophies of life and sometimes several of them at once, and who yet have found real victory. These have discovered that they can put themselves together, or more properly, be put together once again. Perhaps what they have lost cannot itself be found. But people can build anew so that they can still live satisfactorily and productively. In time, a measure of true joy can take the place of the happiness they have lost. For those who suffer the loss of all or much they hold dear, life seems at first to have permanently lost all its flavor. It seems to them that their old life-commitment can never be recovered and old relationships restored. Perhaps they cannot. But there is hope and there is recovery if the sufferer seeks it where it is to be found.
There are, of course, some places or actions which are not the solution.
(1) To rage against catastrophe and refuse consolation, redemption and reconstruction will simply lead nowhere. The universe has not singled anyone out as a special target. Trouble comes to all. It will do no good to "curse God and die" as the patriarch Job's wife advised him to do.
(2) To flee in despair is the common temptation to all whose world falls apart. Perhaps there are occasions when one must begin afresh someplace new. But the negative desire simply to run away to hide does not solve any problem. There are more problems lying in wait wherever we go than we can possibly guess beforehand.
(3) To withdraw into oneself produces no solutions but only bitterness and the poisoning of the spirit. No victory can come to a soul steeped in despair and hatred.
(4) To turn against others in revenge or with destructive attitudes toward society or the church will only compound the suffering, not alleviate it.
WHERE TO LOOK
There is a wondrous story in the Bible about two men whose world had gone to pieces and who yet found victory. They were disciples of Jesus who believed He was the Song-expected ''Messiah." Perhaps it is difficult for us to realize just how deeply the people of Israel in the first century longed for such a deliverer, who would rid them from the oppression of the Romans. Their Scriptures had predicted such a man would arise. When Jesus came to his public ministry, there were some whose hopes immediately soared, "at last the Messiah!"
But after only three years of preaching Jesus went to the cross, and after a day of agony he died. The hopes and dreams of his followers were buried in the tomb with him. His followers were stunned. For a day or two, they walked disconsolately about Jerusalem with their fellow disciples. Then they gave up and decided to return to their homes in a village called Emmaus. Let the Bible itself tell the story: Luke 24:13-53 -
13 And, behold, two of them went that same day to a village called Emmaus, which was from Jerusalem about threescore furlongs.
14 And they talked together of all these things which had happened.
15 And it came to pass that, while they communed together and reasoned, Jesus himself drew near, and went with them.
16 But their eyes were holden that they should not know him.
17 And he said unto them, What manner of communications are these that ye have one to another, as ye walk, and are sad?
18 And the one of them, whose name was Cleopas, answering said unto him, Art thou only a stranger in Jerusalem and hast not known the things which are come to pass there in these days?
19 And he said unto them, What things? And they said unto him, Concerning Jesus of Nazareth, which was a prophet mighty in deed and word before God and all the people:
20 And how the chief priests and our rulers delivered him to be condemned to death, and have crucified him.
21 But we trusted that it had been he which should have redeemed Israel: and beside all this, to day is the third day since these things were done.
22 Yea, and certain women also of our company made us astonished, which were early at the sepulchre,
23 And when they found not his body, they came, saying, that they had also seen a vision of angels, which said that he was alive.
24 And certain of them which were with us went to the sepulchre, and found it even so as the women had said: but him they saw not.
25 Then he said unto them, O fools, and slow of heart to believe all that the prophets have spoken:
26 Ought not Christ to have suffered these things, and to enter into his glory?
27 And beginning at Moses and all the prophets, he expounded unto them in all the scriptures the things concerning himself.
28 And they drew nigh unto the village, whither they went: and he made as though he would have gone further.
29 But they constrained him, saying, Abide with us: for it is toward evening, and the day is far spent. And he went in to tarry with them.
30 And it came to pass, as he sat at meat with them, he took bread, and blessed it, and brake, and gave to them.
31 And their eyes were opened, and they knew him; and he vanished out of their sight.
32 And they said one to another, Did not our heart burn within us, while he talked with us by the way, and while he opened to us the scriptures?
33 And they rose up the same hour, and returned to Jerusalem, and found the eleven gathered together, and them that were with them,
34 Saying, The Lord is risen indeed, and hath appeared to Simon.
35 And they told what things were done in the way, and how he was known of them in breaking of bread.
36 And as they thus spake, Jesus himself stood in the midst of them, and saith unto them, Peace be unto you.
37 But they were terrified and affrighted, and supposed that they had seen a spirit.
38 And he said unto them, Why are ye troubled? and why do thoughts arise in your hearts?
39 Behold my hands and my feet, that it is I myself: handle me, and see; for a spirit hath not flesh and bones, as ye see me have,
40 And when he had thus spoken, he shewed them his hands and his feet.
41 And while they yet believed not for joy, and wondered, he said unto them, Have ye here any meat?
42 And they gave him a piece of broiled fish, and of an honeycomb.
43 And he took it, and did eat before them.
44 And he said unto them, These are the words which I spake unto you, while I was yet with you, that all things must be fulfilled, which were written in the law of Moses, and in the prophets, and in the psalms, concerning me.
45 Then opened he their understanding, that they might understand the scriptures.
46 And said unto them, Thus it is written, and thus it behoved Christ to suffer, and to rise from the dead the third day:
47 And that repentance and remission of sins should be preached in his name among all nations, beginning at Jerusalem.
48 And ye are witnesses of these things.
49 And, behold, I send the promise of my Father upon you: but tarry ye in the city of Jerusalem, until ye be endued with power from on high.
50 And he led them out as far as to Bethany, and he lifted up his hands, and blessed them.
51 And it came to pass, while he blessed them, he was parted from them, and carried up into heaven..
52 And they worshipped him, and returned to Jerusalem with great joy:
53 And were continually In the temple, praising and blessing God. A-men.
If Jesus lives, and He does, then what He has revealed to us in this story is of towering importance. Think carefully about what you have read and draw from it the following truths and principles:
(1) The two disciples had laid everything else aside and had cast their lots with Jesus. His deliverance of Israel was their major commitment. He was the focus of their lives, that is, until He was laid in his tomb.
(2) When "their world fell apart," they lost their focus, they had no longer any purpose in living. Their hopes had dimmed out, they were dazed, confused, depressed and they retreated to their homes and within themselves, oblivious to everything and everyone around them.
(3) Their lives were put back together by the Risen Christ, His love and tenderness, His wise use of the Scriptures which they should have consulted.
(4) The Risen Christ became the new center of life. Their new commitment to him became the major fact of their existence, and they became vitally related not only to him but to others who were likewise privileged to know the Risen Christ.
(5) They found a new Cause to live for which gave them a new purpose and enabled them to be a part of the fellowship of those who were to "turn the world upside down" (right side up!). That Cause (the church and the Kingdom of God) is still with us, still available as the best investment of life, labor, money and devotion for those who seek the only way out of the great catastrophies of life. The Living Christ is for those who would face life courageously and, despite catastrophies, find in Him fulfillment and joy. The Living Christ is for even those who face death and in spite of it, find solid hope; "Because I live, ye shall live also," affirmed Jesus, who puts people back together. He is the Center around which life can be rebuilt.
No person in history, who has ever found the Living Christ, has ever been sorry he did. But those, all those, who have followed another path have ended in confusion and despair. He assures you how, "I will never leave you or forsake you! Christ is the cure for catastrophe! Jesus is Lord. He is Lord of creation. By Him were all things made. He is the Lord of the storms of Life. In the fourth watch of the night when his disciples were in terror of the storm at sea that threatened their lives, Jesus came to them walking on the water. He calmed the waves and stilled the tempest! He is Lord of your health. The Great Physician can cure all diseases. He is Lord over death. He conquered the grave, for himself and for you.
When your supreme commitment is to Jesus Christ you are destruction proof. Some things may hurt you, but nothing can destroy you! He is the same yesterday, today and forever Jesus Christ is the Changeless Person. His kingdom is the kingdom that cannot be shaken (Heb. 12:25-28),
When your world falls apart move into "His World" the Kingdom that cannot be moved or shaken. When your loved ones depart from you in death, move dose to Him who has conquered death, and promises, "I will never leave you or forsake you. Lord, I am with you always,"
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